Meet Them Where They Are At

Calder, I've been thinking so much about you and some of the things we talked about on Sunday night/Monday morning and I keep coming to the title of my email. Sometimes I want someone to run before they are ready to walk. It's all about the baby steps. You're doing a great job and I know you are frustrated. I'm thinking that instead of feeling frustrated, maybe it would help to focus on the baby steps? And for some reason you have been given the responsibility to build your companions into the missionaries they can become. I've watched you do this with so many of your comps. Some of them have been easier than others and overall you've been given quite a sampling. So, after a lot of thought and prayer on your behalf...my advice is to meet your comp and your mission president where they are at. Help them walk and soon they will run with you. We must develop the capacity to see others not as they are at present but as they may become. Meeting someone where they are means accepting them for who they are and where they are in their life. Sometimes all a person needs is someone to hold their hand and walk with them to a better place. I believe once someone feels understood then they can understand where you are coming from. I know you are doing so much to bring the mission to the level you are at and that's so good. Unfortunately, most of the missionaries didn't get the awesome opportunity to be in the Dallas West mission like you. You were given a glimpse into how it can work and that was such a blessing. When I worked with Brenda in the YWs just before our ward was split, we worked together as a team very quickly. She heard us and listened to our counsel. She truly wanted counselors. It was so hard to go from that to working with Lori. I felt like she just wanted worker bees and could care less to know what we thought about anything important. It was kind of like "shut up and do what I think is important." That was SO hard for me. After a lot of stress and humbling, I learned to just build her. She lacked so much confidence and she just really wanted me to validate her and her ideas...so, I did. I found the things that she was great at and I always told her those things IN FRONT of other people. That was key. Slowly but surely she started to trust me and listen to me. It took some time but it happened. I never thought we would be able to work together but we figured it out. I know you'll figure it out too. It's all about Love. That's the first and second highest commandments of all. Just find a way to love the craziness out of the crazies. And I can truly say with all my whole heart that I love Lori Paulsen deeply. I learned so much from her! And I am so grateful that I had the chance to serve with her, but it wasn't easy! Here's the rundown of the pics... 1) McKay and Scout. I seriously think Scout is smiling in this pic! 2) The epic snow storm when Sky and Lindsey picked up McKay and Henry and they went sledding behind Sky's truck at midnight...we are such softies... 3) Ward Christmas party...the list Jane offered Santa was quite long and very complete 4) Gwen's choir concert 5) Temple baptisms with the YW 6) Jay's awesome ugly Christmas sweatshirt...I thought you'd like it. 7) My siblings. Love them so much. 8) Your cousins saved you a spot at the table. Topher's girlfriend Lysa. She's a keeper. I really like her. I'm thinking this summer they will get married. 9) Chimes...you're welcome Things are going well here. It's busy but fun. I'm missing you and praying like crazy that your package arrives. I talked to one lady today who told me it was Poland and would arrive on January 9th. I was dying. I called another number and they said it was in Ukraine in customs and that it should be out of customs in a day or two. Fingers crossed. Love you so much! Love what you are doing, learning and becoming. What a crazy mission experience. My friend Jenny Covey's nephew is coming to your mission from the mission closer to Russia. If you see an Elder Covey, you'll definitely like him! Hang in there. You're a beast! Can't wait to talk on Saturday. Love you TONS!! MOM

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